If you hate your boss, no one needs to know

By Brendan Rogak

Behind their backs, they're referred to by a host of colorful epithets: Bean-counter, pencil-pusher, micro-manager, to name a few tame examples. They seem to know less than you, do less work than you, but they inexplicably take home twice your salary. And you're sure that you could do their job in your sleep.

Yes, in our day and age, the corporate boss is the bogeyman of working life.  Nearly everyone who has held a job has toiled under the dim-witted and tyrannical administration of a bad boss. It's no coincidence that the middle manager has been the subject of parody and derision in every popular cultural medium, from television (The Office) and cinema (Office Space) to comic strips (Dilbert) and beyond.

Yet, despite the apparent universal agreement that condescending, overbearing bosses are useless or downright counterproductive, it would seem that, at least for the foreseeable future, bosses, and your boss, are here to stay.

Momentary feelings of hopelessness upon hearing this news are perfectly understandable. I'll give you a moment.

OK, now that you've worked through your despair, it's important to realize that no matter how unqualified your boss is, no matter how boxed-in you feel by their bureaucratic process and nit-picking, no matter how blatantly he or she poisons the politics in your office and pits you and your colleagues against one another, it is in your best interest to keep your cool, and keep your opinions to yourself.

The simple truth is that you are employed and paid by a company which, for whatever reason, has decided that your boss is fit to set your agenda. Short of criminal conduct on your boss' part, composure and grace should be your watchwords when it comes to dealing with his or her behavior, egregious and antagonistic though it may be.

The primary reason to adhere to this rule is that your boss is probably not the only person in your office who is capable of making your life miserable. Every work environment has one or two people who keep their antennae up for statements made around the water cooler or in the stairway that can be used to compromise their colleagues and curry favor with the guy or gal in charge.

Avoid this trap entirely by declining to share your personal feelings regarding your manager, or about related subjects like whether your assigned work is legitimate or necessary. Even perfectly innocent comments can be taken out of context by a fellow employee looking to sell someone out for their own gain.

Nothing in this approach stops you from lending a sympathetic ear to a co-worker who needs to vent. In fact, a reputation for being a good and fair listener is something worth cultivating.

But if something you say or are reputed to have said makes its way back to your boss, you face one of a few things happening, being fired probably the most pleasant among them. A true sadist - I'll go ahead and assume that this describes your boss - will keep you around to make him- or herself look magnanimous, and to make you look like a rumor-mongering chump who's lucky to have a job. The shrewdest boss might even shame you by organizing a meeting to urge your team not to make the same mistakes you've made.

Wherever possible, you want to be sure not to burn your bridges. Your boss may be the biggest snake in the world, but a recommendation from him or her could be important to you down the line. On the other hand, employees with personnel problems on their records look like troublemakers. Saying, "He started it!" to an interviewer won't win you your next job.

Opportunities for office drama are everywhere, and it takes a calm, skillful individual to tap-dance through that minefield. If you work hard, meet deadlines, and avoid even the appearance of impropriety, chances are there will never be any ammunition to use against you. And if the jerks in your office don't know what you think of them, you can get them to do favors for you, and that means you win.