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A FRIEND WORTH HAVING

By Mike VonFabian


If you're like me, you love to read a good traveling story book.  You may be asking what a traveling story is.  Well, here are some examples: Tom Sawyer, The Wizard of Oz, Star Wars...you get the picture.


I'm sure you've also seen a few movie examples such as the The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.  Ok, in that case the pants, not the people, did the traveling.


Why are traveling stories so exciting?  They tie together the one thing that defines us as human beings-friendship...the capability to consciously decide who we want to love in a very intimate way.  We inherit that trait from our Father in Heaven.  He made sure to include that in addition to the free will package.


So why am I bringing all this up?  I want you to read the next sentence no less than 3 times.  YOU DEFINE YOUR FRIENDS AS MUCH AS YOUR FRIENDS DEFINE YOU!  (If you missed the read it again statement earlier, go back one sentence and read it!)


The people you embrace as friends will define who you become as much as you will define them.  Another term you may have heard to explain this is influence.  With that said, do you think it's important that those people you choose to call "friend" will enhance the finer and better qualities of you?  And what about what you bring to the table?  What do your friends see in you when they look at you?  Are the qualities you bring to them enhancing who they will become?


Here are some things to consider:


  • - Are you open and honest with your friends about who you really are? Your strengths and weaknesses?
  • - Are you someone that a friend can count on? Are your friends always there for you?
  • - If they are always there for you, are they always looking out for your best interests? Sometimes that means that you have to chance losing someone as a friend! Do you let them watch out for your best interests without criticism or anger?
  • - Do you grow together?
  • - Do you allow each other to have a life separate from the friendship?
  • - Is the other person's love more important than your own well being?

Although this isn't an exhaustive list, it does bring to light some stellar qualities such as selflessness, courage, trust and most importantly, love!  Attributes that are not welcome in a strong and growing friendship are envy, anger, deceit and jealousy.  If a person is a true friend, you are there supporting them through the good and the bad, telling them when they are going down a wrong path, and, most importantly, always loving the person even though you despise their actions.


If you haven't had a chance to sit down and read a good traveling story lately, make the time!  You will start to see some amazing traits in the fictional characters that will change your outlook on being a friend.  If you want a real challenge and to see the most intimate example of love, read the story of King David and his friend Jonathon in the book of First Samuel in the bible.  That is one of the greatest stories of true agape (pronounced ah-gah-pey)  love.  This is the standard of love we should all strive for...love without reward!  Whatever you choose, I hope you will become a friend worth having!