When It's Okay To Tell A Parent

By Tammy Ruggles

--Fourteen-year-old Jody paces about her bedroom, trying to cope with an inner turmoil. The home pregnancy test she bought just indicated that she is pregnant. She doesn‘t know if it‘s okay to tell her parents, because she is afraid of what they will do and say. Will they make her have an abortion? Will they make her keep the baby if she doesn't want it? Will they make her give it up for adoption? Will they hate her?

--Seventeen-year-old Mariah was just dumped a week ago by her boyfriend of two years. She thought they would get married and have the perfect life. Now he has left her for another girl and has even moved away from the city. She has built her whole world around him, and now her world has fallen apart. She can't eat, can't sleep, she feels that she can't live without him, and has even confided to her best friend Reagan that she has considered swallowing all of her mother's sleeping pills just to make the hurt go away. Reagan is worried about her and thinks Mariah's mother should know how much pain her daughter is in, but Reagan doesn't want to come off like a snitch.

--Thirteen-year-old Jennifer used to be a lively, friendly girl who loved to hang out with her friends, but now her friends are worried about the change in her personality. She has become withdrawn, doesn't want to hang out with them anymore, has lost her appetite, and stays away from home as much as possible. She wrote in a letter to her friend Cory that her father has been molesting her, and begged him to keep it a secret, but Cory is torn. Should he stay loyal to her, or tell someone who can help her?

If you know someone in a difficult situation, or are in one yourself, one of the hardest decisions you will ever have to wrestle with is whether to tell someone or keep it to yourself. Sometimes it's easier to keep a secret. That way no one will be talking about it or making decisions. It can seem like keeping a secret is the right thing to do. No one wants to see a friend get in trouble, or see a friend's family member get into trouble. And who wants to be thought of as a snitch?

But in cases of emergencies, it's okay to tell a parent, counselor, teacher, law enforcement officer, or some other trusted adult who is in a position to help. Disclosing a secret may seem like a betrayal, but it is often the best way to help a friend in trouble. Sometimes a situation seems hopeless, especially when you are the one dealing with it, and it is often hard to think clearly about what to do. If you have to disclose a secret, remind yourself that it is because you love your friend and want to help them, and keep telling your friend that. If you remain friends, you have done them a favor. If they reject you, you have still done the right thing, and it is nothing to be ashamed of. You just may save a life.

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