Cherish the Old People
By Prin Dumas
My mother's parents
both died before she had even graduated high school. Since I never met my grandparents, I often longed for that lovable
elderly person in my life. Lucky me, my mother chose a man over 20 years her senior as my dad. So in many ways,
my generational gap with my father, which would seem daunting in most scenarios, filled my quota for archaic wisdom and a
child's healthy dosage of spoiling. Throughout my childhood, my parents encouraged that I befriend their friends.
I was to interact with adults and be unafraid to speak up. They thought it was healthy, and indeed, I grew up to interact
quite comfortably with men and women significantly older than my peers.
Around my freshmen year of high
school, I began volunteering: a food kitchen here, a tutoring there, etc... I enjoyed being helpful, and I liked
having something to do. I formed a special place in my heart, however, for the senior housing complexes I visited.
There was tenderness among the elderly. They simply had stopped caring about petty squabbles. They unanimously
stopped holding onto bitterness, and if you found a bitter one, their justification was peppered with lessons learned for
me not to repeat.
In a simple way, older people can forge great bonds with younger individuals. I firmly
believe age is a mere circumstance. It creates no qualitative boundaries. In an effort to encourage the young
to cherish the old, I thought of some ideas to explore.
How do you cherish the wiser souls in your life?
Here are a few ways:
- Realize that they are a living history book. Read them! Ask them to tell
you about periods in history preceding your birth. If there is one thing I will never forget is the excited tone with
which my dad remembers World War II. He's made every war movie mean that much more to me.
- Keep it
simple. A senior citizen doesn't need to go biking with you to have a good time. They may revel in the idea
of sitting and being heard. Maybe buying a breakfast or lunch to share would mean more to them at this stage of their
lives than an elaborate gift or event. I know an old retired priest who loves going for walks in the park, and he loves
bumping into people along the way.
- The random gesture is always a hit. Stop focusing on holidays and
birthdays. Everyone remembers everyone on special occasions. It matters the most to receive a random "thinking
of you" note when it is least expected. I used to write letters to this elderly woman once a month. She had
no family. When she died, the staff at the home sent me a letter explaining to me how meaningful my notes had been to
this woman, because they were always a surprise.
- Make time. We are all culprits of being too busy, but a person
who has long been retired doesn't have as stimulating a schedule as you do. Keeping an elderly person "busy"
is a great way to keep them feeling like their life still has a purpose, and it may extend the lives of many seniors-on
pure mind over matter. So, if they matter, make them matter.
